Celebrity

BREAKING: Melania Trump Attacked In NYC–Angry Liberal Amy Schumer Behind Bars

Poor little snowflake Amy Schumer just couldn’t help herself this morning when she saw Melania Trump and her Secret Service detail at a bagel shop in Manhattan. The First Lady, who was minding her own business just trying to get an everything toasted with light cream cheese, was interrupted by a shrill yell from the back of the crowd of onlookers. Rosemary Gearhardt, a street performer who witnessed the incident, told MSNBC:

“There were about 30 people standing around who had just been kicked out of line by Secret Service because Melania was there and some of them were just rude and impatient. Then the shouting started. Someone yelled, ‘Hey, plastic bitch! how much is your bagel and all of those agents costing the taxpayer?’ I turned and looked and it was Amy Schumer.”

The crowd of rude, liberal New Yorkers began laughing and clapping so Secret Service decided to remove the First Lady from the scene. As they passed Schumer, she screamed, “Slovenian trash!” and threw something at her, barely missing her. Schumer was immediately grabbed and whisked away in a black SUV.

A call to the NYPD showed no signs of Schumer being arrested but Secret Service coordinator Steve Niemi told Fox News that Schumer was being held for questioning as a person of interest in an attack on the First Lady. Schumer’s agent refused to comment.

It’s a real shame that Melania Trump had to have her morning ruined. As First Lady, she should be able to spend a couple of ten thousand dollars for a walk down the street to experience the normalcy of a bagel shop rather than having her breakfast delivered. This is America. Is she not free?

 

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